i choose to update my blog last so i won't have any destruction to destruct my attentions away. i break ifhtar with the parents just now & it felt so sayu. maybe its also because the fact that nenek & wak minah was also sitting the same table as us. iman went to his rugby trainning whereas bik yah is still on duty. somehow, i could feel someone presence. him. yes, arwah atok. i missed him. period.

i know bulan ramadhan is the month that they will come back & look at their loved ones. hais. i don't know. i feel like i don't belong in this family. i don't deserve to be serve good. i feel like punching my face a million million times. enough of the sentimental part. (:

life has been good. struggling, yes, but been coping well. im being loved by my loved ones & what more do i need right? yes. (: