so its been decided that the 21st will be just a normal one. macam seeyaks right? i was so looking forward for the chatlet. but what to do? blame it on his stupid buisness. Alright. i already promised him not to bring up this topic anymore. i will not add salt to the wound. but i just can't help myself. i swear i feel like killing him. *yakdush*

i don't know what is going to happen next. will i be outside for long? or will it just be temporary. sometimes, saying itself is not enough. it is so true when they say, angin kat dalam & angin kat luar lain. im still young & sometimes, i hate myself for being involved with this illegal stuffs. & sometimes, i regret. i wish i was innocent. i wish i knew nothing. if only i could turn back time.

Ouh well. everything happens for a reason right? they say, u urself make ur fate. i don't know. sometimes i think that phrase is true. i need to find a job or maybe go to school. i can't keep myself free all the time. dangerous. once im free, than im bored, than stupid things will come to this wonderful head of mine. as u know, my mind is so full of excitement. asik nak enjoy jek. i think i need to brainwash myself.

the other day, me & boyfriend was so bored. we went jalan-jalan @ tamp. then we took the bus home. guess what? the buss passes through the "Kubor Boyan" & my sweetest sin boyfriend decided to dropped down that stop & go explore. it was near maghrib, mine you. tapi this boy of mine is always full of adventure. i didn't actually go near it but boyfriend did. & guess what? as soon as i reach home, my body was so weak. i thought it was just another "ngade-ngade" of my body. & boyfriend also didn't mine that i wasn't entertaining him. i fall asleep while watching Blades of Glory. haha. he was pissed off cos when he fall asleep i woke him up, tapi biler my turn, when he woke me, i didn't even respond.

& guess what? the next day, both of us fall damn sick okei. i went to the doctor because i need to take MC for my stupid "School". & guess what? my body was hot tapi temperature is the normal. the doctor find it weird. so i went home, telling the boy. the boy took half day from werk cos i was so sick & plus he was feeling so weak.
dua-dua makan panadol den switch off. his mom came home & look @ us. she knew something was amiss & so we told he what he did that day.

memang padan ngan muker kiter kena marah. haha.
den his stepdad came by kasi minum this drink than both of us okei already. haha. i told the boy, tu la, next time takmo macam paham.

his working today. im so bored okei. i wana work already la. tiong saks ari ari duk umah. den takder kawan. sesiaper yang tingal bedok tu tolong ringan kan tangan eyk, email saya. & i will get back to u asap. ahaha. carik kawan lepak nampak. blueeks.

on another note, people & human beings will never change. yes, i didn't change & went back to my old ways because of u guys. why? you expect me to change but each and one of you ader change tak? i always repeat this lines to you people, Bile ira kat dalam, janji macam-macam, ira da kluar? satu habuk pon takder. you guys dissapointed in me? guess what, im much more dissapointed in you people. it reminds me on why i choose those wrong paths in life. u guys & ur promises, SMUA TAK BLEI PAKAI. malas ah nak layan. dari kecik sampai besar, janji janji janji, tapi maner smua? takder... why i become like this, fikir la eyk... masing masing for da tuek kan.& everytime, its about them, he or she. u knoe what? it sucks being a middle child tau. MACAM SIALL!

so now, i end my post.